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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: observing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that values the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I understand not all people enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private videographer, but companions help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a clip now and then would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value our friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She must to respect Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some real memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their bond?